Most interesting man in the world

Dear college admitters

The seventeen year old behind the computer, the one writing this essay, the one who wishes to attend this university; Wants to tell you about the amazing things he's done in his life. Although you’re probably not going to read this whole thing due to your incredulous personality just bare with me because it will be worth the time.

 I graduated high school, at the age of six. I taught illiterate children to speak Latin, in French. I've been the life of the party, without being at the party itself. Invented the computer, just to write you this application. I snuck up on a ninja, to tell him he was too loud. Turned a lion into a vegetarian, with my eyes. I went to space and back four times, using only a bike. Found the cure to cancer, then lost it in a fight with Chuck Norris. Hit mach 5, while walking. Then after all that was done I took to sports; I started playing hockey and was idolized by Sidney Crosby, Played football and hit harder then Brian Urlacher (he told me so). Came across tennis long enough to beat Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer in a doubles match, by myself. I then beat Tiger 18-0 in a skins match, with only a putter; won the Indy 500, using a scooter, beat up Anderson Silva, while blindfolded and when all that was done I decided to take up Business where at the age of 14 I fired Donald Trump. Owned many multimillion dollar brand names including Emporia Armani, Dolce and Gabbana, Ed Hardy and Walmart although im not to proud of the last one.

After Business it was time to play Survivor, which I dominated making a mansion with satellite TV and surround sound using only kiwis, rocks and coconuts. After winning I had decided it was time to settle down for a while so I had tea with the Queen at the mansion I had built playing survivor. But even though I have accomplished so much in so little of time I still not finished everything that I could their is still one more thing to do and that is finish my education and I trust that your fine institution can do that for me.